Ceridwen’s Cauldron

Sometimes I think that the actual headache isn’t the worst part of having a migraine. It’s all the minor decisions and crap that surround it, frankly. The headache can mostly be dealt with — lessened by painkillers, and slept off, which is what I usually do.

But then when you wake up in the evening and still have the edges of the bloody headache. What then?

Do I take more medication? The pain is bearable now, but still prevents me from thinking straight. Do I play through the pain, or take the painkiller again, sparing myself misery now, but building up my tolerance to the medicine so that it won’t work one day down the line, perhaps a day when I have a worse headache?

I’m hungry. Do I eat? Or will eating make me feel sick?

A bath might be nice. But do I use bubble bath? It will make the bath nicer, but will the artificial scent send my headache spinning out of control, or relax me?

Do I go back to bed? If I go back to bed, I won’t sleep well through the night. That might trigger another headache. But if I don’t go back to bed, I’m useless for the evening. I can’t write, can’t read, can’t do anything that involves any kind of focus for anything more than ten minutes at a time. I’d watch television just for something to do, but even that would mean following a plotline — plus my TV is currently under drop cloths in the living room. Saxophone is Right Out, both for the noise, the breath control, and the focus on playing correctly that it would require. Even prayer is a kind of mental focus I just can’t drum up right now.

Maybe I’ll just have a cup of chamomile tea and stare blissfully (and mindlessly) at the lovely newly painted walls, or go through paint chips, not with the intention of deciding any colour for any room, but just to look at soothing colours for a while.

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We had the misfortune to smash our beautiful full-length mirror yesterday evening.

Normally I’d mourn the loss of the mirror and throw out the broken bits, (properly wrapped, of course) but it occurs to me that some of you out there might be into mosaic work, in which case a full-length mirror worth of mirror might go a good long ways toward various projects.

Any takers? I’ll save the box if so.

Update: Luanna says I am an evil woman, which I take as a compliment. She is also going to take my box full of broken mirror. I can’t wait to see what kind of artwork she does with it.

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I’ve been spending an inordinate amount of time in my hallway of late. It’s the only part of the apartment that’s painted as of yet, and I never realized before this how much of a difference the paint would make.

It’s warm in my hallway. It’s cozy. And the rest of my apartment has faded into a sterile white that’s going to drive me bonkers now that I’ve seen how nice it can look.

Anyway, things will be better once the living room is done. That should be early next week. And after that the kitchen and guest bedroom.

After that…the bedroom, I suppose. We haven’t really decided on a colour for the bathroom yet, though I have several I’m thinking of. My office is a bigger problem. I want to do something different in here, something a little funky, a little inspirational, but I really can’t decide what. I was looking to the illustrations from the Gaiman/Vess Stardust graphic novel, as I have prints of the covers on the office walls, but I’m not keen on sagey green or pinks for the walls and I can’t seem to find a blue that’s quite right. I figure I’ll know it when I see it. Today we made a brief trip to Home Depot to pick up supplies and I poked through the colours they recommend in their “collections”. There are some nice ones, but nothing I’ve looked at and said “this is IT”.

On the other hand, it’s kind of inspiring to look at colours called “magical twilight” and “secret garden” and “shadow blue”, just names that seem to put me in the right frame of mind for writing. And then I sit back and imagine them on the walls…well, they’re not really me. Sadly, they’ve also included a shade of pale pink called “little girl”. Ugh.

“Rich navy” and “deep aubergine” are pretty colours, though not real inspirational names.

Hmm….

*goes to look at colours some more*

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…your very own copy of the On Spec Summer 2005 issue, featuring a story by ME!

Yeah, I’ve been periodically checking the website to see when it goes up.

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The bread on Monday turned out to be only a semi-success. It was perfectly baked, but the top was very white, so I turned the broiler on for a couple of minutes, just to brown up the tops….

…and burned almost every loaf. Just a little on top — the loaves were in about a minute too long.

So I called my mom last night and told her and she laughed and said “Good one, Alice.”

Because apparently my grandmother (Alice) used to do the SAME THING quite often. And she was a bread-baker of legend. So I guess I’m on the right track.

Yesterday was pesto, which still isn’t finished as I bought way too much basil, had to head out to get more pine nuts (I settled on sunflower seeds for the second batch, ’cause really, pine nuts are expensive) and I think I burned out my blender. It’s not blending quite as well as it was earlier in the day. Plus it’s not really the right tool for pesto. So today I get out the mini food processor and finish up in that. Hopefully I’ll have time for making the pies as well.

Yesterday’s trip to the market yielded fresh corn (SO sweet!), and today I think I’ll be picking up stuff for a delicious salad, as well as apples (early Macs, I think, though I’m open to suggestions as to what apples you folk use for pies.) I also want to stop by one of the hippie stores in the market and see if I can’t get some white bean flour so I can try my hand at a gluten-free pastry for a friend.

I love harvest.

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I’m in the mood to cook now that it’s fall. I feel all harvesty, so I think my harvest celebrations this year will include me cooking something every day this week.

Today is bread.

Tomorrow will be…pesto sauce.

Wednesday will be pies.

Thursday…Shepherd’s pie, I guess. I can freeze some of them then.

And Friday…I haven’t decided yet. Possibly zucchini muffins as both Scott and Jake are fond of them. Otherwise, I’m open to suggestions.

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Walked over to Home Depot to pick up some of our storage containers, which I noticed yesterday were on sale.

I picked up one of the containers, and put it on the ground to make sure the wheels worked okay. It scraped. Not good. I picked it up and looked at the wheels.

There were no wheels. Nor were there wheels on the next one I picked up. Or the one after that. Same storage containers we have at home, aside from the tops being green, rather than blue, about the same sale price we usually pay, but no wheels. Nor were they attached inside, taped to the side, or in a bin sitting next to the storage containers.

I went and found a clerk. “Do you know where the wheels are?” I asked.

“These ones don’t come with wheels,” she told me. “They stack.”

“But they have wheel wells.” I pointed out. (There are depressions in the containers where the wheels should be. But no wheels.) “I have the same storage units at home, but there are wheels in these wells.”

She shrugged. “Maybe they’re making them differently now.”

“Aah.” I said, and put the containers back and left without buying any.

And now I’m trying to find them on the Home Depot website to see if they sell the containers WITH wheels, or if the company has possibly stopped making them or something.

The Home Depot website is atrocious. There is no separate section for “storage containers”. They are interspersed throughout all of the pages so if you click on the “Storage totes” link, you get three different types, but if you click on another section, you’ll find four more types.

It’s not really a big deal, but I’m irked. I want my storage containers. Which have wheels and also stack.

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I keep catching the painted patch out of the corner of my eye and thinking “That’s going to look SO COOL when it’s done.”

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I want to thank everyone who’s posted or congratulated me on the story being published. I consider myself truly lucky to have such wonderful, supportive friends.

Thank you all.

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The lovely paint colours for the hall and living room have been picked out and purchased. A parchment colour for the top of the walls (”popcorn white”, in fact), with a nice brown for the trim (”soft copper”) and a gold for the bottom portion (”golden wheat”).

HRH did a test patch when we came back to the apartment. It looks lovely. He starts painting tomorrow. I can’t wait to see the finished product. It’s going to be so warm and cozy in here, I’ll never want to leave the living room and hallway (at least, not until the rest of the apartment is done!)

I’m also back to clearing off bookshelves and generally making the place nice and clean and presentable (despite the fact that the people I was doing it to impress left this morning. It still needs to get done.) It’s coming along well. I’m not sure if I’ll have more or less space than I thought I would when I’m done, but the shelves look nice and that’s the important thing. At least, it is for the moment.

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