Ceridwen’s Cauldron

We still can’t keep them from eating his food, but at least the kittens are getting along better with Jake.

They’re still hesitant around one another, and when he walks past them, Jake gives them a wide berth if he’s able. However, Scott saw Jake touch noses with Miho twice last night, and this morning I saw him touch noses with Tybalt.

So it’s going much better than expected, even.

Last night was the kittens’ first night out of the back bedroom. They slept on the bed until about 3am, then decided it was play time. I didn’t so much mind them running up and down the hall as I minded the noise of them chewing on the shoes in the entryway. So back to the bedroom they went, but it wasn’t a bad experience overall.

At one point, I had them both walking on my back while I was half-asleep. They’re light, so their paws tickled more than anything (but what a change from Jake, who rarely walks on anyone!) Tybalt walked up to my ear and purred, then walked away, at which point Miho walked up to my ear and purred. Then they both went to find a place to lay back down.

It’s a very nice experience to go to sleep in a bed full of loudly-purring cats, even if it means you get woken up once or twice when they start chasing their tails.

Posted by Ceri under Cats | 4 Comments »

Things are starting to settle down around here.

The kittens are out of their room most of the time now, except when we go out. Tonight we may let them out in the night to see how they behave. Jake seems to be getting along with them better. They don’t get too close, and when they’re near he sits and stares at them with terrified eyes. I think they sometimes deliberately hedge him into a corner, but don’t get too close, because they know he won’t attack them unless they get right in his face.

On the other hand, Miho jumped up on the sofa yesterday while he was resting there. Jake made a move as if to sniff at her (not an attack, more curiosity) and Miho made a move to sniff him back, then realized she was looking at That Big Cat that Hisses and took off.

The current problems are keeping the kittens from sleeping on the laundry drying rack, and from eating Jake’s food.

I’m doing better as well. Thanks to everyone who called, or left a comment, or just generally offered support. I felt a lot better after I wrote that post, and now things are slowly starting to come together around the house. I’m cleaning little bits at a time, working on little bits of things at a time, and starting to feel like my life is returning to some semblance of order. Not perfect order, but order.

And it’s summer outside, so we have the windows open and the house is airing out. It’s all very calming. Very soon we have to declare a picnic in the local park and invite everyone…sometime after the gig, which is the Thing We Cannot See Past at the moment. Then our time will get filled up with other things — fun events, painting the apartment and car-shopping.

On the note of getting things done, though, it’s high time I went and finished up some of the to do list for the morning.

Posted by Ceri under Scribbles | 4 Comments »

The kittens have been out of the back room all afternoon. Jake was wary at first, and wouldn’t leave his perch on our bed, but he eventually walked around to the open windows, and to a better spot on the couch.

Then Miho jumped up and saw him.

Miho: Hey — who’s that cat over there? Hey there!

(Here she gets up almost nose-to-nose with Jake)

Jake: HISSSSSSSSSS….

(Miho backs off a bit)

Jake: HISSSSSSSSSS….

Miho:Well, all right then, I’ll just be going…

And she jumped down off the couch. But he didn’t attack her or anything. Just asserted his territory, and off she went.

The biggest problem so far has been their unearthing of every single dustbunny our vacuum cleaner has missed (particularly the ones underneath our bed).

Posted by Ceri under Scribbles | 2 Comments »

There is no superhero party this year.

Our schedules are totally out of whack, there’s no time to prepare before it happens, the invites didn’t go out on time…we didn’t have our shit together.

Another thing in the Giant Pile O’ Frustration.

Posted by Ceri under Scribbles | 3 Comments »

I don’t like myself very much of late.

God, it’s been such a…a…month. I’ve got a new job, finished editing and copy editing a magazine, acquired new kittens, had company, went to Halifax for a whirlwind four-day vacation. I’ve had band practice…but hardly any time to play the saxophone, or practice like I want to.

I just feel frustrated with myself lately. Frustrated and angry at myself, at the world. It’s nothing I can put my finger on. I’m just angry, and I feel like I’m getting nowhere, and that I’ve lost control of my life, and I should have it under control.

I’m not thinking rationally, even. I feel like every relationship I’m in, I’m either giving way too much of myself and never receiving anything back, or taking everything without giving anything back. It’s either “why do I spend time with this person?” or “why does this person bother spending time with me?”. Neither one is really true of anything going on in my life right now. Intellectually I know this is so. Emotionally, though, it’s an entire different story. I just feel…dissatisfied with everything. With myself.

There’s work I promised people I’d have done by the end of the month that I’m now looking at with a mounting degree of panic. I really want to have it done. I just can’t seem to find the time or energy to spend on it right now. It’s just never a good time. And some of the exercises are really difficult for me. I have to buckle under and do it, but the more I put it off, the worse it gets.

I’m nearing the final stages of the baby quilt I’m making. I want to get that done, want to see the finished product. But I feel so far removed from it at the moment. All my enthusiasm blew away, even though I still love the quilt, still love it when I’m working on it. I just can’t get myself to that point.

And saxophone…I can’t bring myself to play. Not only can’t I find the time, I’m so upset about the high G being wonky that I can’t even touch the instrument — it stresses me out. Ridiculously so. Not to mention that I know I’m letting the band down by not practicing. Every practice I show up not having worked on anything, or with minimal practicing, is a failure to the people I play with. And a failure to myself, because I know I can do it. If only I could practice…and then I don’t.

I’m trying to take deep, calming breaths. I’m trying to do one thing at a time. I’m trying to just get through this, so that I can do the next thing. But it all came at once and now that it’s over, or at least settled down a little, I feel like I don’t want to do anything. I just want to sit around and relax, watch television, play mindless video games. Even though the house is a mess and having it clean would take away one of the things that’s constantly irritating me.

I’m sitting in front of a wall of stuff. And I can’t get over it or around it, and I can’t seem to clean it up. Every time I think I’m over it, I find that there’s another, much bigger pile just waiting for me.

And what’s worse is none of these things is major. It’s not a crisis in reality, it’s just a crisis in my head. Knowing that doesn’t make it better. It makes it worse. Because then I’m frustrated at myself for being frustrated and the cycle continues.

I am going to try to update this blog more often, though. I feel better about myself when I’m blogging. And I can feel the knot of stress in my chest easing a little, even as I type this.

Phew. All right. Now I go to pick up the sax for a while.

Posted by Ceri under Scribbles | 3 Comments »

Well, that was nerve-wracking.

After several days of waiting to see if Tybalt was really well enough to be let out around our (elderly) cat, we finally opened the door of the spare room tonight and let the cats interact.

‘Interact’ is a word that turned out to be entirely inappropriate to the situation.

The kittens, understandably, bounded from one place to the next screaming “What’s that? What’s that? What’s over here? Have you seen this? Oooh…what’s that?”

And Jake…Jake jumped up on the sofa and curled up and watched these small, furry interlopers stalk across his long-held domain. His eyes were big, and when I tried to pat him, he hissed at me. I gave him some cat treats, which seemed to placate him, but when the kittens got too close he made strange growling noises, and would hiss if they stayed too long.

They didn’t even seem to register that he was there. They didn’t even look at him. Not even when he hissed.

After about fifteen minutes, Jake bounded off to a hidey hole of his own and we decided that was probably enough. We put the kittens back in their room and left it at that. Maybe tomorrow night we’ll let them out for an hour or so. Eventually we’ll only put them back for nighttime and when we go out…and then they’ll be on their own together.

I hope this is going to go well. The whole thing makes my stomach clench. I know it’s partly a matter of time, but my word, why can’t they just get along now?

Posted by Ceri under Cats | 3 Comments »

Tybalt is sick. He came down with some kind of infection on Saturday while I was away and Scott had to take him to the vet.

The vet’s prescribed some antibiotics, which he has to take twice a day for the next week.

It is to be imagined that Tybalt is not so keen on the antibiotics. He scarred Scott rather nicely, until I came home and introduced the trick of wrapping him in a towel while he’s being force-fed the syringe. He’s small and squirmy and this makes things much easier. Not entirely easy, mind you. Just easier.

What’s really amusing, though, is that Miho takes great offence to our ungentle handling of her brother. While we hold him, she attacks our feet, and climbs up our legs with her small, sharp claws. On one occasion, she hunkered down in my lap and purred angrily at us until he was released. Such are her methods of protest. And it always works, of course, because we always release him.

And then of course, once he’s fine, and has licked himself in a nonchalant way to show that we didn’t bother him at all and he could care less if we just disappeared, Miho promptly jumps on him and chases him around for a while.

Because really, what else is there to do when you’re a kitten?

Posted by Ceri under Cats | 4 Comments »

Whew. I’m back from a four-day whirlwhind trip to Halifax to visit the family. I have lots to post about later, but the real reason for my trip is as follows:

My brother graduated from University on Friday with his Bachelor of Commerce degree. This is him standing with my mom and dad.

I can’t even express how proud I am. It’s a big accomplishment in any case, but where schoolwork has always been something that came easy to me, I know Dan had to really work at it. He’s done an amazing job.

So contratulations, little brother! You made it!

Posted by Ceri under Scribbles | 3 Comments »

Allow me a small brag:

Due to the amount of content I pulled together for the magazine issue I’m editing, it’s been expanded from its usual size of 20 pages to 24 pages. Not only that, but the “listings” section that usually forms the last two pages will be included as an insert. So, really, I think there are 6 extra pages of content from me and my team o’ writers.

I’m quite pleased.

Posted by Ceri under Scribbles | 4 Comments »

I’m playing Office Assistant today.

Yesterday the Boss Man asked for suggestions as to what we might have for edibles at our suppertime meeting tonight. We’d been ordering pizza and I suggested that pizza twice a week was perhaps not the healthiest thing in the world.

Yesterday I suggested that I run to the deli near my house, one of the best in the city, and pick up all the necessaries for sandwiches. He agreed, and before I left he handed me money from the petty cash to make sure I could get everything. Boy was that intimidating! I think I’m pretty good with how I spend my money — until I know I’m going to have to hand in receipts!

I’ve been running around making sure we have all the things we need — down to the lettuce and mustard, and a knife with which to chop tomatoes. It took a bit longer than I thought — deli for meats, then market for tomatoes and lettuce, then grocery store for mustard and mayo — but we’ll have lovely cold cuts and sandwiches tonight, as opposed to greasy pizza or chicken and fries.

And a note to self: If I want to be at work for 11:00, I do not want to leave the house at 11:00. I want to leave at 10:00. Duh. Somehow recently my brain has been saying “So yes, you’ll leave on the hour, and catch the bus at the half-hour” and telling me that the hour I actually want to leave is the hour I want to get there. I don’t know why I’ve been doing this. Just not thinking things through properly, I guess.

Anyway, now it’s lunch at home then to work later than expected, but not exactly late — I do make my own hours, after all. And I get a few things done around the house in the meantime. Hooray!

Okay, gotta go hang laundry. Ta!

Posted by Ceri under Scribbles | 2 Comments »