Ceridwen’s Cauldron

Oh, for the love of all that’s holy! Just when I thought I’d gotten over the tetris-like addiction of the Bejeweled game on MSN games, I discovered Yahoo Games. Whatever you do, don’t open up Collapse or Text Twist! I can’t be held responsible for the life, or lack of life, that you lead after you discover these games!

Must….not….open…collapse….! I’m so addicted.

Truth be known, I’m becoming a bit of a crossword junkie, and Yahoo crosswords offers some difficult ones. It has the added bonus of being able to fill in the answers that I don’t have at the end of the crossword. Once, I actually completed the puzzle without any kind of help whatsoever! I was very proud of myself. Normally I can only do that on insanely easy crosswords.

On another note, I’m looking to make improvements to this blog, because I want to put up some links, etc., and Mozilla seems to be choking on my html code. Anyone out there know someone who can edit html with ease, and who would be willing to help me out for an hour or so gratis, as it were? Scott and I took a look at the code last night, but even he was left puzzling over it and scratching his head. This is a man that programs for a living.

And here I’d always heard HTML was easy.

I would just change the damn template, but quite frankly I kinda like this one and I don’t want to change it unless I absolutely, positively have to. I’m not convinced yet that it’s needed.

On another note, I’m still looking for name suggestions for the Alto Sax. Send them here: Cauldronofceri@yahoo.ca. Mail me! It’s lonely on this side of the blog! Or, alternately, you could just leave a note in my comments.

Happy Friday, all!

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The new Soapbox Derby post is up. A quick little exercise in getting into the characters I’m writing about. Very interesting to write. I feel all shaky. I feel like I actually wrote, though. That feels damn good. Anyway. What are you waiting for? Go check it out.

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There’s not much going on today. I’m feeling a little bit of the pressure because it’s the one-month anniversary for Soapbox Derby, the online soap opera I’m co-writing with my friends Dave and Taras. In theory, one of us should update the site, in turn, once a week at the very latest. But it’s been such a crazy month — the last update went up while I was in Nova Scotia, I think — that I haven’t had time to write for it. Now I have the time, and I’m feeling like I don’t want to do it.

It’s not because I won’t enjoy it, and not because I don’t need the writing practice — I do. But I immediately balk at doing things I feel obligated to do. (That is, outside of doing the work in a paying job, which is a different thing entirely.) If I feel forced into something, it’s a sure sign I won’t do it, or that I’ll put it off as long as possible. It just seems too much like work.

This is one of the reasons my housework gets done so rarely. (Of course, I shouldn’t write that in a Blog my mother reads, but oh well…) It’s also one of the reasons I didn’t do my saxophone practice as much as I should, back when I was taking lessons. I got into scales, and playing badly (a necessity, especially when starting a new song) and I get frustrated and feel obligated to do it, and then I just put the sax away and say “aaah, I’ll do it later.” Same thing with Soapbox Derby. Same thing with the writing exercise I started with Arin. I plan to do it…later.

Is this inherent laziness, or a problem with authority? Or maybe a little bit of both? Or is it just that I’m a born procrastinator, and these things have no deadline?

Or perhaps the problem is more along the lines of avoiding frustration. Like in university when I had to type out the essays I never really wanted to write, painfully, word by word, every paragraph fighting against me. Writing — even creative writing — is like that sometimes, and those are the days that gets me down. And playing any instrument is like that too, when the notes aren’t coming, or you keep missing on that quick b-c-b finger transfer, or whatever.

The other problem is that the longer I put things off, the harder it gets to start. I have this internal voice that shouts down all of my ambition “You haven’t worked on Soapbox Derby in so long, they’ll be expecting something really good, you’ll never be able to deliver”, “You don’t want to start that, really. You don’t have any ideas.”, “Your writing sucks anyway.” “You’ll never hit that Bflat, stop trying.” *POOF* All of my good intentions fly right out the window. That voice is damn hard to shut up.

Even now that voice is shouting at me. Telling me this blog post has to be one of the worst I’ve ever written, that it meanders and has no point, that I’m never going to come to any real conclusion anyway, and hey — wouldn’t I like some chocolate? I think there’s some in the kitchen. (Distracting me — with chocolate or other foods, or books, or television shows — is one of the Voice’s favourite tricks.)

But I’ll show you, Voice! I’m going to post this blog! It may well be the worst post I’ve ever written, but I’m not deleting it! Just to prove that I don’t have to do anything you tell me! Mwaha! Ha!

And then I’m going to go get that chocolate.

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My saxophone is sitting in its case right now, beautiful thing that it is. Waiting, just waiting, for me to play it. (Or, perhaps, in the way of these things, it’s hoping that I won’t play it, because it can’t stand hearing/playing Ode to Joy or the Theme From Star Wars one more time, and gods could I hit that low C once, just once, without making it sound like a dying duck?)

Arin suggested the other day that I buy myself a nice little blank book and write down the days that I practise, and for how long, and any other notes I feel like putting in. I went looking in a couple of shops for a nice blank book with a sax on the cover, but there were none to be found. So I fell back on a blank book I had in my posession already. It’s a nice spiral-bound book that Dave gave me on my birthday. It’s a moon-gazing book, full of quotes about the phases of the moon, and the moon itself. I thought it fit in very nicely with creativity, thus the saxophone. There’s been a slight improvement in my playing in the 2 days I’ve been using this book, but the real challenge will be to see if there’s an improvement after 3 months of steady practice. Or, if I can get to 3 months of steady practice, which is another thing entirely.

I’m toying with the idea of starting lessons again. For one thing, it would give me some feedback on my embouchure. It would also give me some idea of how to pace myself, what songs I should be playing, and what I’m doing wrong. First of course, I’d like to get myself back to where I was before I stopped taking lessons. Which would require me remembering all of my scales. And how to play the aforementioned low C, and also B and Bflat.

Since it seems for the moment anyway that I will be playing this saxophone for a while, I think it needs a name. I will take suggestions for the name at my cauldron e-mail address. Detail-wise, it’s a Yamaha Alto Student saxophone. Brass and silver and beautiful. Let that inspire you.

Posted by Ceri under ShinyNewSaxophone | Comments Off

There are days in my life when I think “I can’t possibly blog today. There’s too much going on, too much hurt, too much that I want to say and I’ll never be able to say it right.”

Today is one of those days.

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So we had our superhero party on Saturday. T’was a grand success.

I spent all day Thursday and Friday finishing up my costume and Scott’s costume. I made so many mistakes on my costume, and had to rip out so many seams, that I started in the morning and wasn’t finished by the time Scott came home from work, much to my chagrin. I finally finished it, though, and it did look pretty good. I got many comments on the fishnet stockings, and almost as many on the revealing outfit (which was really a not-too-revealing figure skating suit).

I was Black Canary, and Scott was Green Arrow, who we thought would make a cute couple. I made both of the costumes myself. Other guests included, Mr. Coffee and The Tea Bag, Green Lantern, Promethea, Thor, The Comedian, She-Hulk, Dr. K the Mad Scientist, Dr. Evil, Supergirl, Tuxedo Mask, DiscoWoman, Zorro and the Queen of Swords. Not a bad set of characters, I think.

I got an e-mail from Green Lantern yesterday, saying that he’s already planning his costume for next year. I can’t think of a higher compliment. And yes, we will be having a similar party at a similar time next year. Barring any unforseen circumstances, that is.

Photos? You want party photos? Now? Oh, you greedy, impatient blog readers. Fine, fine. You can find the photos here. Or, at least, that’s most of them. Dr. Evil seems to be absent. I will look into it and try to get that one posted later.

Posted by Ceri under Crafts and Sewing | Comments Off

I went to see Star Wars: Attack of the Clones yesterday. Three words come to mind: “Worst Episode Ever“.

Considering the only expectation I had going into the movie was to see some cool battle scenes, I was even disappointed in that. The one good lightsabre battle was ruined by focussing on facial closeups rather than having us see the actual battle. Yoda did not kick butt, he looked damn silly. Amidala did not emote. The computer generated “riding-a-bucking-animal” shots were horrible. The green screens were way too obvious; I expect better overall CGI from Lucasfilm. The movie had poor script, poor directing, poor acting (probably due to the aforementioned script) and poor characterization. George Lucas didn’t even learn one lesson from the first movie: he got rid of the incredibly annoying Jar Jar, but he put in C3P0 for some equally annoying “comic relief”. He doesn’t seem to realize that it’s just as bothersome coming from one character as from another.

Can I say anything positive about the movie? Why yes, yes I can. Unlike Episode I, this movie did not contain a fart joke.

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Wow. I just looked at the date of my last post. It’s hard to believe that it’s been a whole week since I’ve blogged. It’s been a bit of a whirlwind.

Last Thursday, as days go, was a total writeoff. I was depressed. I was cranky. I felt like I was walking around in a dark, dark fog. I was also angry because it looked like there would be a new union meeting on Saturday, meaning I couldn’t go to my first LARP game.

Now, the best thing about LARP is that when you go away, you leave all of your problems behind. You can’t be fighting ogres and trying to stay in character and worrying about being locked out at the same time. So any out of game worries go away. And I knew on Thursday that was exactly what I needed. And it looked like I wasn’t going to be able to go.

Thursday night, as I was stressing about cleaning my apartment for my mother and aunts’ imminent arrival, I found out that the meeting would be posponed — most likely to Tuesday or Wednesday. I started packing with a vengeance. I was going away!

Friday, after picketing, I put the finishing touches on the apartment and finished my packing. I met my ride at the metro station, we picked up Dave and were off.

The 24 hours I spent playing were a lot of fun. I really did get away from it all, and I came back feeling ready for anything — even a houseful of relatives. It was a bit of a shame that I didn’t get to stay for the whole weekend, but that’s the way these things go.

Mom, and Aunts Anne and Bonnie got to my house about an hour and a half after I did. For the rest of the week I was living in a whirlwind — a whirlwind that cleaned my apartment, did my laundry, and insisted on paying for everything I tried to buy. T-shirts, new mats for the apartment, kitchen utensils, you name it. The apartment has never been so clean or so organized. I’ve never been so frustrated. (”Don’t do my laundry!!! I can do it myself!!!” — but I didn’t have a choice in the matter)

I also haven’t laughed so much in a long time. One thing about my mother and her sisters is that they’re constantly joking and laughing. When they get together the noise is exponential. It’s a rare gift and I definitely appreciated it while they were here.

Now they’re gone — despite my attempts to get them to stay for an extra day. I had a union meeting yesterday that meant I didn’t get to see them until later on in the day, so I thought staying an extra day would be a great idea. They wouldn’t though. “You’ll be glad to get rid of us,” they said.

Truth be told, I’m a little lonely. The apartment is quiet except for the sounds of me typing away at the computer. There are no suitcases in the spare bedroom, no dollar store bags on the floor. It’s empty and dark.

Well, guys, I hope you had a nice stay. I really enjoyed myself while you were here.

Oh, and that Union meeting? We accepted with 70% approval more or less the same offer we rejected last week. Back to the grind on Monday. That is, if I get called in.

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I didn’t get home from the union meeting until 1:30 this morning. And I left before the damn thing ended.

The union membership voted to reject the offer management gave us. 502 votes against the offer. 499 votes for the offer. 9 spoiled ballots.

Yep. You read that right. We are a union divided right down the middle. Broken. We’ll be going back to work in a month, or two months, or three months, or whenever management lets us back, on our hands and knees, probably accepting the same offer we just rejected, but only after losing quite a bit more of our pay.

Our negotiating committee walked into the assembly yesterday and told us that they had a deal. I looked at it and I was pretty impressed. A pretty good pay raise, a call back list for temps, 130+ permanent jobs for long-time temporary workers, a committee on pay equity that forces the CBC to correct problems where they’re found. Not to mention a good signing bonus. Only, in order to get one of the clauses they wanted in the contract, the union had to promise that they would recommend the offer.
“So we recommend the offer,” they said. “But feel free to vote against it.”

Now, if you have a friend recommending you for a job offer, and that friend says “Yes, she(he) is a great worker, but feel free not to hire her(him)” Would you consider that a recommendation? I sure as hell wouldn’t.

Everything, in the way the union presented the information, to the way they responded to questions, said that they wanted the assembly to vote against the offer. And so, without a clear recommendation from our union or, rather, with a rather clear recommendation against though they never actually said the words, the union was divided.

Management didn’t break our union. Our negotiating committee broke our union. Now we have no bargaining power, no deal, and a lot of pissed off people on both sides of the fence.

So bravo to the negotiating committee who, after negotiating a great deal (which they did), pissed it away.

With friends like these…

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I did it. I broke down and went to my local music store yesterday, and there I rented a beautiful, almost-new Yamaha alto saxophone. For 1 month. I will see if I play it (and how well) and then decide about buying (or renting for a longer period). I came home, looked at the saxophone (ooooooh, lovely, lovely instrument), and called Arin to call her a foul temptress. Then I got out my reeds and mouthpiece and played ode to joy (only thing I can remember) 3 or 4 times through. And the C scale. Also the only one I can remember. Who knew I’d forget so much in just a little over a year? But I missed the sound, I realize now. I love the sound of a well-played saxophone. (Or any saxophone, really, since “well-played” doesn’t really apply to anything I ever tried.)

There’s a huge union meeting tomorrow to vote on management’s latest offer. If we vote it down, we’ll probably be out all summer. If we accept it, we’re not that much better off contract-wise (from what I can see) from the offer we had before we got locked out. 8 weeks lost for not much, or possibly 3 more months lost for not much better of an offer (I doubt we’ll get much more than what they’re offering now.). Decisions, decisions. And a long day of union meeting stretching out ahead of me. In Laval, no less, so it’s not like I can leave once I decide everything interesting has finished for the day.

Things I am taking with me to kill the boredom:

1. A pocket Snakes and Ladders game that I bought at the hotel where the first all-day meeting was.

2. A book. (Men With Brooms, to be precise).

3. A Game Boy, provided the batteries are charged up, and I can find my favourite games.

4. Quilt pieces. I do quite well sewing and listening at the same time, and Gods only know, I’ll have to listen to a lot tomorrow. Ugh.

Is that enough to keep me occupied for the day? Time will tell. Perhaps I could bring my saxophone and play the blues in the lobby.

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